Love...

Love is a word that is used very loosely in today's English language.  I love you is thrown around so much, that it is no wonder why people get so confused in relationships.  And it isn't only intimate relationships that get messed up in that little 4 letter word that causes so much havoc.  It's any kind.  A love between two friends or many, a love between to soul mates and a love between family or more specific a mother and daughter.

When did love become such a hard thing for people to grasp?  Anymore it isn't I love you all the time...it's I will love you when it is convenient for me.  It can bring so many people close together, and yet tear them apart at the same time.

Then there are different kinds of love.  There is a love for finer things in life.  A love for friends, a love for family, a love for material things, and BEING IN love.  They all cause just as much trouble as the next.  And just because there are different kinds of love, really doesn't make the hurt really any different.

It is confusing.  I try to teach my daughter, a teen girl that goes around telling everyone she loves them, even people she has never met, that you can't just throw that word out there to people.  Reason being...there are so many people out there that is only looking for love.  To be loved by someone, anyone.  Yet, she still throws it out there like it is an everyday word.  And it isn't.  Love is a word that should be used with extreme care.  A word that should only come out of your mouth when it is unconditional, no doubt about it and truly meant by the sayer. 

I can honestly say that I am IN LOVE with one person.  I can honestly say that I truly love 5 people unconditionally.  I can honestly say I love 6 people that I would never want anything bad to happen to them.  And I can honestly say I love the items around me that I would hate to lose but it's OK if I ever do.  Every single one of these people I tell I love you to.  And when I tell them I love them, I truly mean I love them.  I love them so very much that my life would never be the same without them.  If I have told you, then I mean it.

But the problem with love is...it isn't always given back with the same amount of enthusiasm, with the same amount of passion, with the same amount.  You can never tell or show someone exactly how much you really love them, but you can always try to show them and tell them.  Never stop trying.  But don't ever say it, unless you mean it. 

I am a mother, and I starve for love from my children.  I need love from them.  I HAVE to have love from them.  And to a large degree, they love me as much as they can or as much as they know how to.  But I don't ever want them to love me when it is convenient for them.  No matter what they do, no matter what they say, no matter what they become, I will always love them as much, if not more then the day they were laid in my arms.  I may not like what they do, or what they say, but I can honestly say I love them UNCONDITIONALLY. 

Love hurts, love feels great, love makes you cry, it makes you laugh.  But one thing it should never do...is make you CRAZY!

To my daughter, I love you.  Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow...I love you.  Let me know when it is convenient again for you to love me. 

List Something Each Day I Am Thankful For

I will be adding to this daily throughout my list of goals...see Small Goals, Big Step.

Day One:
Today I am thankful for the warm weather.  Everyone has had such a bad, long and cold winter, and I am thankful that I am able to go outside, when such a large part of the North still has snow.  The weather has been up in the mid 60's or low 70's all week long.  When I am outside, I can't help but look around and notice all of the art work God has given us to look at.  Makes me wonder when I look at all these trees, birds, blue skies and even the irritating flies...How someone could doubt there is a God.  He speaks to us everyday, we just have to be still enough to listen.

Day Two:
I am thankful for those that love me.  Not those that just speak the "I love you" words..but those that say it and truly mean it.  You know the kind of people I am talking about.  I love you are three words that are thrown around so freely.  Anyone can say it, and it rolls off the tongue as easily as butter.  But then there are those people that show you they love you.  So saying I love you so often is not really important.  My husband and I tell each other daily we love each other...but if he didn't show it, I would have a hard time believing him.  And it isn't the big things they do, it is in the simple and smallest ways that really matter.  Like leaving the last Coke in the fridge for me even though he would like it.  Or looking over to see him watching me with a smile, or staying awake with me each night if I can't sleep so I am not lonely.  I am thankful of his love for me, the love my children have for me.  I am lucky enough to have 4 people in this world that love me, really love me, when so many people out there are still looking for one person to love them.

Day Three:
I am thankful I get to hear my children laughing.  So many days I hear nothing but fussing and fighting from my children.  But on those rare occasions when they are getting along, or when they are playing with their dad, I get to hear their laughs.  Not just laughs but true and genuine belly laughs.  And to see their eyes sparkle and shine from the tears in their eyes from laughing so hard, I will always remember.  When I hear their laughter, it makes me think that maybe I have done something right.  That I am taking them down the right path.  Makes me a happy, happy mommy.

Day Four:
I am thankful that I have lived in so many different places in my life.  Before I met my husband, I lived in one place my whole life...Ohio.  Since I have met him I have lived in Alabama, Indiana, Illinois, Florida and where we lay our heads now...in Georgia.  I have heard so many times that we have not done right by our kids moving around so many times...But you know what I say to that...my kids are well balanced because of it, my kids know they can fit in anywhere because of it, my kids have learned how so many other people live, my kids have seen that other kids long to do what they have done.  So, do I know if Georgia will be our last stop...who knows, but I do know that I wouldn't give it up or take back any of it.  We have had such fun times together in each of these places.  Things we couldn't have done if we were someplace else.  Those memories were so worth all the moving around.  My life isn't boring, it may not be perfect...but it's our lives!!!!

Day Five:
I woke today and was very thankful for my home.  Yes, we rent but, in today's economy I am thankful that we can afford rent.  So many today have had their homes ripped out from under them, it saddens me.  I may not have a perfect home filled with the best of everything, but I have a home full of love.  Thank you God for providing for my family once again. 

Day Six:
Plan and simple today... I am so very very Thankful that I made it home today from Atlanta, GA in one piece.  I am also thankful I don't live there!

Day Seven:
I am thankful today that I was able to get the flies that have envaded the outside of my home, to stay on the outside of my home.  We have a chicken farm over the mountain from us...and well the Health Department is going to be getting a call very soon.