Hitting The 40 Year Mark

I was born in 1972.  That means that I am right now 38 and will be turning 39 in November.  What does this mean?  Well, to me it means that I am quickly approaching my 40's and really nothing to show for it.

I have no home that is mine, no career, no savings, no anything else that I should have at this age.  I promised myself that by the age of 40 I would be set, should anything happen and I am left alone.  Right now if I was left alone I am afraid I would sink faster then a paddle boat. 

The best part about turning older is the fact that your sex drive, in women anyway, hits a high gear and you start to wonder what in the heck has happened to you.  The bad part about that is, you must make sure your husband is in the best shape of his life, cause he isn't that eager young teenage boy as before.

Another bad part of that is the start of that unforgiving M word.  Yes you know what I am talking about.  Sweating is the worst part.  And it is so embarrassing.  When you are wringing your shirt out and your hair is soaking wet and you look around and nobody else looks even remotely hot.  Then the emotions.  One day up, three days down.  Depressed, Depressed, ok but Still depressed, to has perky as a 14 year old.  Menopause is a roller coaster of which seems there is no end in sight...and the kicker....its ONLY PRE-MENOPAUSE!

Oh yeah, being a woman and getting older isn't easy.  When I worked at a nursing home, I always wondered why the older women were mostly bitter.  They hated the aids.  It was like they were pissed off at us cause we were younger.  The older men...such a delight.  The majority of them were just as sweet and kind.  Now, being a woman and getting older...I now know why the older women were so bitter.  We have to go through a lot!!!!!

Men get up, take a shower, swipe a comb through their hair, put on deodorant if your lucky, get dressed and out the door they go.  Never to have their friend visit monthly, sometimes not at all, which causes more emotions, never go through the pain of child birth, no menopause...no nothing.  Sometimes I think to myself...I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET EVE!

I guess I am not being fair to the men, they do have the hard job of bringing enough money home to support the family, then hold the couch down so it don't go anywhere.  Oh yes I am not dumb to the fact that men have midlife crisses...but it is usually just because they realize they are getting old.  That's another thing, why is it that men get more handsome when they get older?  My husband, his greying hair is just as soft and whispy as it was when it was all one color.  My greying hair is so corse it wont even dye.  His wrinkles are in his forehead...the worry lines, and can be covered with his hair..Mine..around my mouth.  He is still as thin if not thinner then the day I met him....Me..my butt is bigger, my belly is bigger and I AM SHIRINKING! 

So I guess my point is this.  As 40 gets nearer, my dreams of being thin and beautiful with a house and sweat free gets farther.  I am becoming...my mother.

B