We Don't Like What You May Do, BUT....

Every time I try to straighten myself out and my emotions, something or someone else will come along and just throw me so far into a loop that it is going to take me another year to sort through it all.

I posted tonight on my Facebook, a status of... My heart is hurting for a very large group of people, and I don't know how to make it stop.

This status was directed toward a very disturbing sermon I clicked on about a preacher teaching his church that there was no Father, Son and Holy Ghost....Only One God.

This really bothered me and my heart really hurt for these people.  When a cousin of mine came back with the reply that if I would just come home things would be fixed.  I replied back, even though I couldn't think of why she would respond like that, that I would love to come home, but this status was about something much larger.

Her reply was this and I am quoting, bad typing and all...
"well i kinda no how it is and maybe one day we can sit down and talk about it.  just remember we might not like what u do but we still love u. just always live day by day and life on life's terms i know it sound easy but only u know ur hurt and pain just no u dont have to do it alone. no matter what billi im here i no we lost touch for a long time but we are still family and thats all that matters. so head up u have to keep going u have a husband and 2 other kids that needs u to be the best u can.  sometimes somethings are just better left alone. and only god is the one to judge. no one eles."

Oh yeah she did.  Made all the other nice things she said just invisible to me.  We don't like what you may do but...  I am sorry, not like what I do...can you please be specific for me?

I am a stay at home mother and pretty much have been my kids whole life.  I have not left their sides nor have I ever pawned them off on anyone to watch.  They have never even had a babysitter.  I am a faithful wife to my husband, never cheated on him and have stood by his side.  I have nursed him back to health as he laid on his death bed.  I am a God fearing woman that has had her share of demons but have chosen to work through them without bringing everyone around me into them or bringing them down.  I don't drink, I don't do drugs, have only had a total of 4 sexual partners my entire life and I was married to two of them.  I don't start fights among people, I hurt for people, I try my darnedest not to judge anyone for any mistakes they may have made in their lives...and trust me, my family have made plenty of them.

So I am sorry they don't like the things I may do...should I try to change to fit in with them more?  I am far from an angel, but even farther from being made into some sort of evil person.  So I am sorry, thanks for the offer dear cousin of mine...but I think I will just stay right where I am and remain who I am.  Cause even though you may not like who I am, I love me.

B