Favorite Memory Two...

(My Grandpa..on my mother's side)

 I was blessed in this life to have a man in my life named...William Matheny.  This man was my grand-daddy and my best friend.  He was my favorite person in the whole world.  He was always the person I could talk to and he never told my parents anything I would say to him.

When I was 14 years old, I had a boyfriend who was 16.  He was my first real boyfriend.  Jerry and I started dating, and at first I couldn't go out with him without one of my siblings, but soon daddy trusted both of us enough to let us go out alone.  BIG MISTAKE.

Jerry thought that it would be a beautiful day to go out driving.  He had a little red Escort.  We got in the car and drove down the road away from the house and at the stop sign, Jerry asked if I would like to drive.  WOULD I EVER!  Although I heard that little voice telling me I shouldn't, the other little voice said, go ahead, it is all country roads and what is the worst that can happen.  Well, I was doing just fine until Jerry decided I should turn at a road that was coming up too fast.  He started yelling, turn here, hit the break.  I hit something alright, but it was the gas and we went flying off the road, into a ditch, over the ditch and straight into a telephone pole that soon was falling to the ground.  Did I mention that that telephone pole was inches from a bridge?  Scared out of my mind, Jerry tells me to switch him seats before anyone seen.  His little car was so messed up.  All he could think about was how his mother was going to kill him and I could think about was my daddy killing me if he ever found out.

We got back to my house and as luck would have it, the only person home was my Grand-daddy that lived in a little trailer out back of our trailer.  Jerry said that he had to come up with a way to get the car fixed without his mom finding out.  He knew his cousin would get it fixed but he didn't have the cash. (SIDE NOTE...THE BIGGEST SPIDER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE JUST WENT CRAWLING ACROSS THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF ME....AHHHHH) I am not exactly sure of how we found out how much it was going to cost, but I do remember who I had to talk to.

We went out to my Grand-daddy's little trailer and I stood there on the front step, hating to knock on his door.  I got the nerve up and knocked and he told me to come in.  He knew by the look on my face I was getting ready to tell him something he wouldn't like.  I explained the story to him and then I asked if we could borrow the money.  After a very long pause, and a look that could have sent me to my grave, he agreed.  He sat at his table and wrote him out a check, handed it to me and said the words I will never forget my entire life.  "Billi Sue...I am so disappointed in you.  I would have never thought you would have done something like this."

KILL ME NOW, put me out of my misery.  I have hurt my grand-daddy and he will never forgive me.  I would seriously rather have died.  Then I turned to walk out the door with my head hanging to the floor.  I opened the door and then he said, "We wont talk about this again, and there is no need for your parents to know."  What, was he serious, he wasn't going to tell them!  He did love me still cause he knew my daddy would have kicked my butt all the way to the next town.  I couldn't even get out a thank you. 

Years later, after my grand-daddy passed away, I asked my mom if he ever told her about a secret we had that involved Jerry.  She confirmed that he never had.  So I told her.  I said...Grand-dad never told you I wreaked Jerry's car and he gave us the money to fix it?  Again, only this time completely shocked, she said no, he never did.  I could only smile.  I explained it all to mom and she said, Billi, he took it to the grave with him. 

A man of his word and a man of the Bible.  Oh how I use to love to sit and listen to him read to me from it.  He read to me from a Bible he did his first sermon from.  The Bible that he told my mother was to be given to me if anything should happen to her.  The Bible I don't believe I will ever see now. 

How I miss him.  I have never found anyone else that could fill his shoes.  Nobody has ever listened to me like him. 

Grand-daddy, if you can hear me, hear my thoughts, I miss you so very much.  So many times I have wanted to talk to you, to run to you with things that hurt me so.  My heart still aches for you, I guess in a way it aches for me, because you are happy, and I am left here without you.  Even though I know why, I can't help sometimes to wonder why you left me here, alone.  I know if you were here you could fix everything and make it right.  Nothing has been the same since you left.  I still hear you in my mind and still see your smile.  After all this time you face has not faded.  I wish my kids could have met you, how different their lives would have been.  Thank you for being a part of my life, I don't think I ever told you that.  I can't wait to see you again, but until then, I see you when I dream again.

(Grandpa and Phillip..my little brother)

Billi Sue